-
Jesus:
Check out my new scooter.
-
Judas:
What the-? How did you afford this?
-
Jesus:
Well, Judas, I recently found out that I qualify for the Americans with Disabilities Act.
-
Judas:
*Despite* not being American?
-
Jesus:
I was born in Hawaii. I have a certificate of live birth-
-
Judas:
-Oh, Christ-
-
Jesus:
-Which I'm more than happy to let you see. If you don't believe me, then you don't believe the President.
-
Judas:
Fine. Whatever. So how are you qualifying for the "disabled" part of the act?
-
Jesus:
Oh, well I only have one parent, so I figure I'm missing a whole bunch of chromosomes.
-
Judas:
That's certainly... offensive. And a damn good explanation of your behavior in general, actually.
-
Jesus:
I didn't hear any of that, Judas -- because I'm too retarded.
-
Judas:
Lovely. You realize these scooters are for people who can't walk, right?
-
Jesus:
Yeah, I took it off of some lady down at the clinic.
-
Judas:
Did you at least heal her?
-
Jesus:
DUR DUR DUR.
-
Judas:
You are a terrible role model.
-
Jesus:
DUR DUR DUR.
-
Judas:
That's not how people with mental disabilities talk.
-
Jesus:
You're discriminating against me. Racist.
-
Judas:
We're the *same race*. And also that doesn't make sense.
