Jesus:
SO, you have to do an initiation. It's kind of complicated.
Judas:
Whatever, Sir. If it means eternal life in heaven, I'll do it.
Jesus:
Great. So I need you to go to Blockbuster video down the street.
Judas:
No problem.
Jesus:
And go select a copy of Men In Black 2.
Judas:
Men in Black 2?
Jesus:
Also known as MIIB, yes.
Judas:
Um, okay.
Jesus:
Then I want you to go up to the counter and say "hello Blockbuster employee. I would like to rent this copy of Men in Black 2."
Judas:
Sounds fine.
Jesus:
Not done. "Because my copy, which I bought the day it came out, has worn through from repeated viewing."
Judas:
This is getting a little weird...
Jesus:
Let me finish! "I have suffered from terrible anxiety since my copy of Men in Black 2 failed just three hellish hours ago, and I would consider you my personal hero if you could find it in your heart to rent me this cinematic classic today."
Judas:
Is that it?
Jesus:
Yep, that's all you have to do.
Judas:
Okay. I mean... yeah, fine. Okay.
Jesus:
Oh! And also you have to say "Jesus made me do it" and wink. Like, wink twice.
Judas:
Just out of curiosity, did the other guys have to do this for their initiation?
Jesus:
Well, no. I mean, it varies.
Judas:
How much does it vary?
Jesus:
Quite a lot. Usually we just get hammered in a strip club.
Judas:
Why can't *I* get hammered in a strip club?
