Jesus:
Judas, what musical instrument do you think I should learn?
Judas:
None of them.
Jesus:
I think the guitar.
Judas:
No. No. No.
Jesus:
Yeah, definitely. I want to be that guy at parties who has the guitar, and entertains everyone.
Judas:
You mean "no one". That guy entertains no one. Everybody *hates* that guy.
Jesus:
Why? For giving the gift of music?
Judas:
Well, usually for giving the 'gift' of *badly played* music, accompanied by an off-key singing voice. The only time you should ever bring a guitar out at a party is if someone says "hey, do you have anything we can light on fire?" and then you bring out the guitar and light. It. On. Fire.
Jesus:
Man, why do you hate guitars so much?
Judas:
Because my father left my mother for a guitar.
Jesus:
Wow, I didn't know that.
Judas:
Yes you did. I told you the second day we met. And we have this conversation every day. Usually a couple of times, until I'm crying.
Jesus:
Judas, what musical instrument do you think I should learn?
