Jesus:
Dude, how many times can you get convicted of arson before you go to jail?
Judas:
I... once, Jesus. Just the once.
Jesus:
Really? Man, they're really cracking down on that, huh?
Judas:
On people setting fire to things? Yep. Cracking down on that pretty hard, Jesus.
Jesus:
Okay, well. No biggie.
Judas:
This wouldn't be at all related to the fact that you stink of gasoline, right?
Jesus:
Of course not.
Judas:
And the fact that your clothes are scorched?
Jesus:
Not at all.
Judas:
So maybe you could tell me why half of your beard appears to have been burnt off?
Jesus:
You know, thinking about it, I probably didn't even commit arson. I mean, it's only "arson" if you set fire to a building, yeah?
Judas:
What else would a person set fire to?
Jesus:
I don't know... like, a grizzly bear, or something. A grizzly bear. Or something. That wouldn't be arson, right?
Judas:
No, no. That would be murder.
Jesus:
Riiiiiight.
Judas:
Wait, where the hell did you find a grizzly bear to set fire to?
Jesus:
Hypothetically.
Judas:
...Hypothetically.
Jesus:
Oh, they have 'em down at the zoo. They sleep a lot, though -- it's kind of boring. And it's really hard to wake them up, I mean I had to set them on-
Judas:
-fire?
Jesus:
...No?
Judas:
You know, I'd continue this conversation, but I think I'd become an accessory to the crime.
Jesus:
I feel like you end a lot of our chats that way.
Judas:
Do you think there's anything you could do to remedy that?
