Jesus:
No, I figure I have about another three minutes before the range heats up.
Judas:
Why would you even risk that?
Jesus:
What the hell else am I meant to do with my days, man?
Judas:
You're right. Jeez -- if only you'd been put on this Earth for some sort of purpose.
Jesus:
Yeah.
Judas:
A *really specific*, written-in-stone purpose.
Jesus:
Yeah, I know. That would be great.
Judas:
Are you honestly that oblivious?
Jesus:
Well, I'm currently getting third degree burns because I'm sat on top of a stove that got hot a lot quicker than I expected, so you tell me.
Judas:
I just think that instead of staying inside all day and doing your Johnny Knoxville routine for an audience of none, you could go out and maybe preach the good news.
Jesus:
What good news? Did we win the lottery?
Judas:
Well, if by "we" you mean "humanity", then... yes. We won the *spiritual* lottery.
Jesus:
Does the spiritual lottery have any *actual* cash prizes?
Judas:
Not so much, no.
Jesus:
Okay. Well, you're gonna have to spend the rest of the afternoon inventing a new unit of measurement that goes small enough to illustrate just how much I don't care about any lottery that doesn't pay out.
Judas:
How about Jesus-is-a-jerk-imeters?
Jesus:
That works. Wait -- why do I feel like I'm being made fun of?
