Jesus:
Hey, I know you're new and stuff, but I need a favor.
Judas:
Anything for you, Jesus!
Jesus:
Man, you must be *really* new. Anyway, I need you to go to the desert for me.
Judas:
Sure thing! What do you want me to do while I'm there?
Jesus:
Oh, nothing much... just hang around for forty days or so.
Judas:
Forty days!? That's a pretty long time... Can I come back at night?
Jesus:
Oh, right, sorry -- no, it's forty days AND forty nights.
Judas:
What will I *eat*?
Jesus:
That's the best part -- nothing!
Judas:
So... so why do I have to do this, again?
Jesus:
Oh, well, I'm supposed to go there and get tempted by the Devil--
Judas:
THE DEVIL!?
Jesus:
--Yes, that's what I said. Anyway, I totally wouldn't be able to resist, so I need you to fill in for me.
Judas:
Wait, won't the Devil be able to tell that I'm not you?
Jesus:
Yeah, I thought about that. Just tell him that you magically changed your appearance to hide from the cops after that Gethsemane thing. He'll know what you're talking about.
Judas:
Okay... well... I guess if you need me to do this for you...
Jesus:
That's my man! Hey, you're gonna want to take a big stick to beat away the vultures that will constantly be trying to rip the flesh from your bones. They're *nasty*.
Judas:
Oh. Do you have a stick I can borrow?
Jesus:
Yeah, like the guy in the three-thousand dollar linen robe is gonna give a stick to a guy who's not even gonna eat for a month and a half(!) C'mon!
