Judas:
Eh, I don't really go in for that sort of thing.
Jesus:
What do you mean "that sort of thing"?
Judas:
I don't tend to use my facebook account much--
Jesus:
OH, I SEE. You're too good for facebook now? What, you're all high-and-mighty, and feeding the poor and shit and you've got no time to log on to a little website and maybe poke a few friends, write on some walls? Tag a photo or two? It's people like you who make me sick. I mean, if you're so down on the whole thing then why did you even sign up for an account, asshole? Why even sign up?
Judas:
Because you made me. Yesterday.
Jesus:
...huh?
Judas:
You sat me down at the computer and made me sign up for an account. You said if I didn't that you would give me "cancerAIDS" and send me to hell. And then when I made my account you tried to sign in and write on my wall, but when it asked you for your password you threw the keyboard at my head because you couldn't remember how to spell "QWERTY."
Jesus:
It's a hard word. I couldn't even find it in the dictionary.
Judas:
Yes, because you were looking under 'N'. And then you threw the dictionary at my head also.
Jesus:
How come I don't remember any of this stuff?
Judas:
Because you saw the dictionary had made me bleed, and you yelled "I shall use my magic to save you!" and got up from the chair so fast that the blood rushed out of your head and you fell and wouldn't wake up.
Jesus:
Wow. Am I gonna be okay?
Judas:
Well, the doctor asked you how many fingers she was holding up, and you grabbed her ass and made some horrible statements about "disqualifying her for virgin birth", so we think you're gonna be fine.
