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Jesus:
Dude, you have to stop interrupting me when I'm preaching to the people.
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Judas:
But you keep getting everything wrong! Earlier you spent forty-five minutes discussing how God made Moses live in the belly of a whale!
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Jesus:
Screw you, I'm the expert on this shit. I practically wrote the damn Bible.
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Judas:
You don't know a thing. I bet you thirty pieces of silver you can't name the books of the Torah.
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Jesus:
Sure I can. Genesis. Exodus. New Moon. Eclipse... And... Genesis, again.
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Judas:
Frankly, I'm amazed you got the first two. Now pay up.
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Jesus:
To live the spiritual life, you must forsake money, Judas.
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Judas:
Give. Me. The thirty. Pieces. Of silver.
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Jesus:
I don't have it, and I wouldn't give it to you if I did.
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Judas:
I'm getting that money, asshole.
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Jesus:
Sure, over my dead body!
