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Jesus:
Hey, man. I fucked up.
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Judas:
Can you get me a shot of adrenaline? Because my heart just stopped. From shock.
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Jesus:
I'm not kidding. I need your help. I did something really bad.
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Judas:
Okay, what did you do?
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Jesus:
Judas, are you familiar with voodoo?
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Judas:
No, stop it. Don't want to hear where this is going. You're a terrible person.
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Jesus:
Look, I was just trying to be post-modern! And meta!
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Judas:
Who taught you those words?
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Jesus:
And what could be more post-modern that making a voodoo doll of Haiti? Right?
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Judas:
It is astounding that you are the one person in the entirety of human history who definitely won't go to hell.
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Jesus:
Do you get it? Because Haiti is where voodoo *comes from.*
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Judas:
Yeah, I get it. You know what you should get? Your cell phone, so you can donate ten bucks by texting HAITI to 90999.
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Jesus:
You know who else is being hate-y?
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Judas:
YES. YOU.
